The only reason my husband and I stay together is for the sake of our children. But now they're both having emotional problems, and I know it's because of the tension between us. Wouldn't it be better for us just to go ahead and split? — T.N.
Divorce was never part of God's original plan, and one reason was because He knew the deep hurt and emotional damage it could cause -- not just for us, but for our children. No wonder the Old Testament declares, "'I hate divorce,' says the Lord God.... So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith" (Malachi 2:16).
Remember: God gave marriage to us, and He meant for it to be a source of security and happiness, not conflict and heartache. And it can be, when we seek His will about our marriage and allow His love to fill our hearts. That's why I urge you not to give up on your marriage, but to do all you can to repair and restore it. It's the best thing you can do for both you and your children.
How can this happen? The first step is to submit your whole lives -- including your marriage -- to Jesus Christ. When we commit our lives to Him, He comes to live within us by His Holy Spirit, and He begins changing us from within. He can take away our selfishness and anger, and replace it with love and respect for others -- including our spouse. Jesus said, "A new command I give you: Love one another" (John 13:34).
Then ask God to help you stay close to Him every day. When your spouse irritates you, turn those feelings over to God. Don't assume divorce is inevitable, but do all you can -- with God's help -- to recapture the love and commitment you once had.