Sowing the Seeds of the Gospel | Partner with us »
Spiritual Growth

Letting God Handle the Impossible

August 25, 2011

Letting God Handle the Impossible

If any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives...—1 Peter 3:1, NASB

Letting God Handle the Impossible

Each man needs something a little bit different from what another man may need. Are you trying to adapt yourself to your husband and be the kind of wife he needs—not the kind you think he needs?

The best advice I ever heard given to a woman whose husband was not a Christian was: “Your business is not to make him good, but to make him happy!” It’s God’s business to make him good.

I heard a true story about a mother of five children. She had a militantly unbelieving husband who took great delight in criticizing his wife, making fun of her faith in front of the children and telling her faults before guests. He did everything he could to undermine her, and yet those children grew up to be dedicated Christian men and women.

Late in her life a friend who knew of the difficult situation asked the mother how she had managed to cope. She replied, “I made it a point never to argue with my husband and never to criticize him; and I made it a point, when I tucked the children in at night, to read to them from the Word of God and to pray with them.”

A wife has two God-given weapons— love: this includes ministering to your husband’s immediate needs; and prayer: keep your mouth shut and pray. We are to keep busy in our department and stay out of God’s. We are to take care of the possible and let God take care of the impossible.

Taken by permission from “Husbands, Children and God” by Ruth Bell Graham, originally published in Decision magazine, June 1967 ©1967 The Ruth Graham Literary Trust.

 

27 Comments

Rachel says 9.13.2011, 11:48 a.m.

Thank you and God Bless the Grahams. Your message gave me pause, thank the Lord for this message. Today I really needed that.

shamiza says 9.7.2011, 9:03 p.m.

I am so thankful for this advice, it only comforts what God has been laying upon my heart this week. I believe that with God nothing happens coincidentally.

Karey says 8.27.2011, 12:59 a.m.

I have been married over 25 yrs now and I know through experience that Ruths' spiritual advice is true. Being married to a believer who is not a spiritual leader can be a tough journey but only if you try to go about the relationship your way instead of God's. Praying without ceasing for your spouse is the only way to go. Let go and let God work his miracles. God bless us all as we continue our journey with Christ.

Joy says 8.27.2011, 05:12 a.m.

Blessings to our God and Father! He has blessed us with spiritual blessings in the heavenly places in Christ.. everY good gift comes from Him and since they are a gift from God we really need to just be thankful for them instead of criticizing the gift He gave!

Canuck says 8.26.2011, 2:58 p.m.

I am glad that everything worked out for the woman in this story and that Ruth Graham had a wonderful marriage and was blessed with a God-fearing, God-loving husband. I have lived through a marriage with a unbeliever and could not stay in the marriage. The verbal and spiritual abuse was too much - and a very poor example for my children. I prayed and still pray for my ex husband but did not want the risk of my daughter believing this is what a marriage is and copy this example and did not want my son to believe that this is how to treat a woman and that it is her job to take it. I am sure that God's will for me is not this pain and heaviness upon my life. I guess if you can bear the load it is best to try. . . I could not and feel a lightness and joy in the Lord since. We should all pray earnestly and constantly for our families

Lucy says 8.23.2011, 06:08 a.m.

It is a wonderful message thank very much and may God help you to come up with other encouraging messages. I thank God because he changed my husband and now he is a pastor. Glory be to God.

Tracey says 8.15.2011, 7:10 p.m.

I encourage any one who is in physical danger to run to safety!

Celia says 8.7.2011, 09:37 a.m.

We've been married almost 38 years. 32 years as a believer. Many years of heartache and ridicule toward me for my faith. Up until 9 years ago I was expecting my hubby to live like he was a christian, big mistake on my part. He wasn't and isn't. 9 years ago the Lord gently but firmly and repeatedly revealed to me that I needed to forgive my hubby for the pain the constant ridicule caused me. Was I shocked? YES!! Gently and steadily the Lord showed me I could do no less for my hubby than what He did for me at the cross. This has dramatically changed "my" attitude toward my hubby. The Lord has helped me to focus of his many good and endearing qualities. The last 9 years have been a blessing. It has taught me that my hubby's heart is God's business. Mine is to love him.

Craig says 8.4.2011, 10:58 a.m.

This is so good! thanks Ruth Such a good way to live- It is not our job to change everybody- just to love them. A wise friend of mine described it as 'we are not in the warranty department for God, we are in the service department.' I love that. Thanks again

Cynthia says 8.4.2011, 05:30 a.m.

I too gained direction and comfort from your writing. Thank you so much!

annie says 8.4.2011, 05:20 a.m.

I thank my Lord almighty for showing me this page, to show how wrong I was to correct my husband. Lord bless me from this moment to shut my mouth, and with love and prayer lead my family for thy glory.

Jacyn says 8.4.2011, 03:56 a.m.

Thank GOD for this page. I ask HIM, why you did match us as a couple? Because I was hurt a lot by his words. I have been going through the same life what the woman had in her life. Now really I feel good that HE will take care of my husband and make me a wife he needs Thank you very much Ruth Bell Graham

Timothy says 8.4.2011, 03:29 a.m.

I'm not a woman but this teaches me all the same. It is so inspirational and touching. This what we have always done to our beautiful and God given wives. God forgive us and give us a heart to understand. Glory be to God the most High. Lots of love from Kenya.

Bambi says 8.4.2011, 01:43 a.m.

My daughter is going through this. Her husband is a very cruel man and she fights back all the time. Which ends up in a lot of name calling and hitting in front of the kids. Their ages go from 16 yrs old down to 7 yrs old. It's tearing everyone apart. Lord, please watch over them and help them find peace. And please protect my grand kids from their parents choices.

Janet says 8.3.2011, 9:37 p.m.

This article came at just the right time. Have been discouraged, confused for many years as to what to do with my husband and his hidden agendas. I will do as Ruth has suggested...take care of the possible and let God take care of the impossible.Certainly enjoyed the other women's comments as well. They too were helpful and enlightening.

Patricia says 8.3.2011, 1:49 p.m.

I am so glad I read this advice, I have been struggling with what to do with my marriage. But only one thing that is bothering me my husband is on drugs and sometimes it is hard to keep quiet. But I will continue to love him and pray without ceasing. A nd especially Trust the Lord and know that He is in control. Thank You Mrs. Graham and God Bless You

cheryl says 8.3.2011, 1:37 p.m.

thank you Lord for this final message to come through with my daily morning prayer.usual the Lord wakes me up about 4am or 5am to start my thank you to Him because I have returned back home from allowing the world to control me knowing that I have been a child of God for a long time. Had been married to a wonderful God fearing man for 7 years but he too fell away from the Lord an sin has allowed to take whole of him. I have gone into depression and stress behind this because I will not follow him I will only follow the Lord? He has even argued with me when I have made comments about these sinners that he wants to be around? So now I pray and take the med's that my doctor gave me to make it through.

Kare says 8.3.2011, 1:35 p.m.

I tried. I gave up. He is still that way, but I pray for him. Do I feel guilty? From this message I should, but I don't. God knows where I have been, what I have done and what my future holds. I believe God can change lives and know that I cannot. My life is in His hands. Securely.

Nancy says 8.3.2011, 1:13 p.m.

I so needed to hear this re-enforcement today! I love my husband so much and he is a wonderful husband and father, but I worry about his salvation. I know he accepted Christ as his Savior at a young age, but something happened before we met that took him away from God. I pray daily that together, we will worship and continue to grow old.

pam says 8.1.2011, 04:35 a.m.

I get leaving my husband to God but his heart is sooo hardened that he can't even go to God anymore. I just wonder if I leave him to God if even God can get through to him, you have to be willing to listen? right?

SharonLenon says 7.25.2011, 9:53 p.m.

That's the Truth!!!

Janie says 7.25.2011, 4:14 p.m.

I really enjoyed this. I hope to visit the Billy Graham Library in Charlotte.

Margie says 7.17.2011, 5:39 p.m.

Thank you Lord for helping me to see this page, I pray Lord for your grace and strength to be the wife you want me to be to this man I married.

Rina says 7.17.2011, 1:30 p.m.

What a wonderful example from Mrs. R. Graham. I will leave my husband in the hands of the Lord. He knows exactly what I'm going through. The Lord is my Shepherd, and I trust in Him.

NANCY says 7.11.2011, 6:37 p.m.

I WOULD LIKE TO JUST SAY, I AM GOING THROUGH THIS RIGHT NOW, I JUST READ WHAT RUTH HAD TO SAY, AND SHE IS RIGHT, I MUST BE QUIET AND TRUST GOD TO TAKE CARE OF MY HUSBAND NOT ME. FOR I KNOW HE IS THE POTTER I AM THE CLAY, JUST AS HE IS THE POTTER FOR MY HUSBAND AND MY HUSBAND IS THE CLAY. I SO NEEDED TO READ THIS, THANK YOU, MRS. RUTH GRAHAM, YOUR WISDOM LIVES ON, AMEN

Jo says 7.11.2011, 1:49 p.m.

Do not be discouraged for God doesn't lie. He changed my husband's life and now he leads our home in prayer, and is the best father to my daughter. I had to put it all at God's feet. It is God who spoke to his spirit. Nothing I ever did or said made my husband change but it was one morning he woke up claiming he decided he wanted to be a better Christian. Men will always battle life much differently than women. The devil knows he is the appointed leader of our home but if you just trust the Lord and keep still while praying and being obedient as a wife, "you will" see God's miracle working in your husband. God doesn't lie; and His timing is perfect so...."be still and know that I am God" -Psalm 46:10

Veronica says 7.5.2011, 5:38 p.m.

This sounds so difficult to do and I battle in this area of my life. My immediate response is to try and prevent my husband from making mistakes or always trying to get him to see my version of right and wrong. His actions and my response to his actions are driving us apart. I struggle with the question of is he the one for me that God has. It's so confusing.

Post a Comment

BGEA encourages you to participate in this discussion; however, please be aware that your comment will not appear immediately. Also be aware that we reserve the right to edit comments for spelling, grammar and clarity. User comments that include personal attacks or other inappropriate comments will not be approved for posting. Thank you for your patience.

Thank you for commenting on this article. Although you won't see your comment immediately, it will appear after a moderation process is completed. We appreciate your feedback.

© 2013 BILLY GRAHAM EVANGELISTIC ASSOCIATION. BGEA IS A REGISTERED 501(c)(3) NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION.PRIVACYFacebookTwitterYoutubePinterest