BGEA: Many years ago, my sister and I had a sharp disagreement about something and haven't talked to each other since. But recently I realized this wasn't the way God wanted me to act, and since then I've tried to reach out to her (without success). My Christmas card to her even came back unopened and refused. Should I just give up?

Many years ago, my sister and I had a sharp disagreement about something and haven't talked to each other since. But recently I realized this wasn't the way God wanted me to act, and since then I've tried to reach out to her (without success). My Christmas card to her even came back unopened and refused. Should I just give up? — S.J.

No, you shouldn't give up, even when nothing seems to change in your sister's attitude. If you quit trying she'll almost certainly never reach out to you -- but if you keep trying, there always is hope.

After all, don't forget how God has changed your own attitude. For years you wanted nothing to do with your sister -- but in time God overcame your pride and bitterness, and now you care for your sister and want to "forgive and forget" the hurts of the past. If God did that in your life, can't He also do it in your sister's life? Of course He can -- and that should be your prayer. The Bible says that God "is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine" (Ephesians 3:20).

Pray for your sister, that God will not only change her attitude toward you but also help her realize her need for Christ's forgiveness and mercy. And if she does reach out to you in some way, ask God to help you respond with love and grace, instead of dredging up the past.

If possible, I suggest you also seek out someone who knows both you and your sister. Let them know what's been happening in your life and ask them to share your concern with your sister. She might not respond immediately, but perhaps a seed will be planted that will bear fruit later on.

7 Comments

Vicki says 12.10.2012, 9:45 p.m.

My daughter, son and son in law have not spoken to me for more than a year. Over money! But what is at the center of it all she has forbid me to see my only grandson with whom I have been extremely close for 6 years. I am devastated,...

Linda says 12.8.2012, 1:45 p.m.

don't wait, keep trying! My brother and I, pretty much the same story...he died this past summer, and while we were speaking a little, our differences were not aired, and we never became close...oh, how I regret this...DON'T GIVE UP...

Gerry says 12.7.2012, 4:25 p.m.

My own family[Husband and many children] spent Christmas Eve with my parents and my older brother never spoke a word to us during the evening. I was deeply hurt for years. Now our parents are gone and I decided to forgive him in my heart be a friend.

Dorothy says 12.7.2012, 11:33 a.m.

I too am going through this. Words were said about me and I reacted and complainerd on facebook, I never thought he would see it because of my privacy settings. Wrong and now I have lost my son, granddaughter and daughter in law. Only GOD can help me

MomofProdigal says 11.22.2010, 6:28 p.m.

Teri, I agree with you and I too am in the same situation, and also fear that it may not happen at all or if it does, it may almost be too late. It feels like the death of a child having to go through this. Be blessed.

Teri says 11.22.2010, 6:02 p.m.

Thank you Dr. Graham, this has helped me not give up hope for a daughter who wants nothing much to do with me......sad, really sad, but I will keep hoping and praying.......your right, God can do anything, however in his timing, hope I am not too old by then........SIGH........

Caroline says 11.22.2010, 3:37 p.m.

Both this question and answer is very good! This is such a common thing, most people do not talk about it and God's way is always the best way to deal with anything. Going to the bible for answers has helped me so very much in these situations. Thank you, Billy Graham, for being a light in this dark world and for your love for people and God. Bible says God is love, and if we abide in God, we too, will love. That is easily seen in a man like Billy Graham. God bless you.