BGEA: I've fallen in love with a woman I work with, but my wife got very upset when she found out and I told her I wanted a divorce. How can I make her understand that it's God's will for us to get divorced and move on with our separate lives?

I've fallen in love with a woman I work with, and I sincerely believe God brought us together. But my wife got very upset when she found out and I told her I wanted a divorce. How can I make her understand that it's God's will for us to get divorced and move on with our separate lives? — L.H.

Let me be honest: You can't make your wife understand that it's God's will for you to divorce her - because it isn't. Nor should you deceive yourself into thinking it was God's will for you to engage in an affair - because it wasn't.

God never tells us to do something that He has explicitly forbidden in His Word - never. This includes breaking the marriage vow - the vow you and your wife took before God to be faithful to each other as long as you both live. One of the Ten Commandments states, "You shall not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14). Jesus said concerning marriage, "Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate" (Mark 10:9). Society's standards may change over the years - but God's standards do not.

My prayer is that you will face the seriousness of what you have done and repent of it - both before God and before your family. You don't indicate in your letter what went wrong with your marriage - but with God's help there can be restoration, and there can be new life and joy.

The key is to make Christ the center of your marriage - and your life. So far, you have ignored Him and given little thought to the place He should have in your life. Don't go down that road any farther, for it leads only to turmoil and death. Instead open your heart to Christ, and begin again with His help.

4 Comments

S.H says 8.4.2011, 7:53 p.m.

You must continue to intercede for a cheating spouse especially when they are "choosing" to live this life. Warning: You will be rejected, cursed at, lied on, he/she will choose sin over being w/you. You will be blamed, persecuted and some may even experience some type of abuse. You will be mocked for having faith and trying to work on your marriage. you dont want your spouses soul to spiral towards hell. Now, who else do you know that sacrificed his life, and reputation unselfishly giving up what he wanted that we may live? Jesus is the King and we are the bride. Marriage is SUPPOSED to resemble what Christ did for us on the cross. If we still feel the pain of a cheating spouse, yes it hurts but, it means we have not yet died to this flesh as Christ did. This is NOT your spouse but flesh. Your spouse loves you. No, dont be naive and live w/ an abusive spouse and condone sin but still forgive them. When he/she comes to themselves they will come back home to your loving arms. So, love them unconditionally even in your pain and watch God turn your marriages around. My husband told me the same thing now I am watching as he allows God to change his heart and mind. My prayer is soon HE will be willing to allow Gods spirit to heal him first THEN our marriage! Ask what you will it shall be done unto you!Hallelujah!

Joseph says 5.20.2011, 11:46 a.m.

It is Satan's will to deceive us, the human race to disregard our vows of marriage and commitment before God and man: to love, cherish, and respect; also protect. There is truly an attack against the Christian law abiding family. Satan only influences the mind of man to do his will. God changes the heart of man and heals the sin sick soul. Lust is a sin. Truly search your soul and ask the Lord God almighty to remove all evil from and about you. Lean not to your own understanding, let the blood of Jesus be your guide.

LM says 2.28.2011, 02:34 a.m.

Wow SA, My wife is going down that dark road now. We like all marriages had problems and fights, but I also found out a month ago that when we fought or argued and I would say I'm sorry that she would say thats okay and never really forgave me, she would hold on to that hurt and bitterness and didn't tell me until it was too late. She is now seeing her ex-boyfriend and they both want a divorce so that they can be together. They ruined 2 families but don't care. We are both unemployed and still live at home it really hurts me to no end 16 years gone just like that. Please help us LORD !!!

SA says 1.4.2011, 00:38 a.m.

LH: Let me plead with you not to go down this road! I went there 17 years ago and there is nothing but regret in my life now. You are not in love with this woman, It is Lust. I totally destroyed 2 marriages, 3 children and never was able to take back the hurt that I caused. Do you have children? If so, Please think about them first. They will never be the same. The consequences of sin take you so much farther than you want to go and keep you there longer than you want to be. Run back to your wife and lay your life down for her as Christ laid his life down for the church, his bride!! I wish I could go back and start over. I speak from the experience of taking the road you want to go down.