I was playing around on my boyfriend's computer the other day, and I accidentally pulled up a list of the Web sites he'd been on recently. I was shocked, because some of them were hardcore porn sites. He admitted he visits them but says it shouldn't hurt our relationship. Is he right? — B.N.
The very fact that you were shocked by your discovery should tell you the answer: No, he is not right; it will hurt your relationship. In fact, I suspect it already has.
Why is this? For one thing, your boyfriend's habit indicates that he looks on women as objects—as playthings for his own selfish amusement and gratification. Do you want to be seen in that way? I hope not. And what kind of relationship will you have later, when he gets bored with you or you begin to lose your beauty? Can you trust him to be faithful to you then? And do you really want your children to grow up believing that sex is the most important thing in life, and that lust is the same thing as love? Again, I hope not.
The most important thing I can urge you to do is to seek God's will for your life—including your marriage. The place to begin is to turn your life over to Jesus Christ, confessing your sins and asking Him to take control of your life. God's promise is for you: "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you" (Psalm 32:8). Open your heart to Christ today.
Then ask God to give you the courage to confront your boyfriend with his own need to repent and submit His life to Jesus. Don't be satisfied with anything less than God's will.