My Answer

Our divorce finally went through a few months ago, and all my friends say I ought to be delighted since my ex-husband was very abusive and irresponsible. Instead, I find myself very depressed, which doesn't make any sense. Why do I feel this way? — K.R.

Divorce has sometimes been compared to the death of someone who's been close to us—and with good reason, because every divorce marks the death of a marriage.

And just as you may grieve over the death of someone who was close to you, you also may find yourself grieving over the death of your marriage. After all, you entered your marriage full of hopes and dreams, looking forward to years of happiness and contentment. And even when things went wrong, in the back of your mind you still may have thought your marriage could be mended. Now, all those hopes are shattered.

There may be other reasons for your feelings, however. For example, you may feel isolated and alone now, and think that no one understands your heartache. You may also dread the future, wondering if your life will always be filled with disappointment or failure. You may even feel guilty over what has happened, blaming yourself for not having been a better spouse.

But listen: God loves you, and He knows all about the pain you are experiencing. More than that, He wants to help you and give you hope for the future. The Bible says, "For I know the plans I have for you ... plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11). Turn to Christ and commit your life to Him today, and then ask Him to help you walk with Him every day.

 

4 Comments

DHJ says 9.22.2012, 12:32 a.m.

Rebecca, I completely agree with you! No one wants Divorce, but if your spouse continues to commit EVIL against you by being abusive, and REFUSES HELP, than this is CLEARLY a marriage GOD does not want you in!

Jeff says 1.17.2012, 3:16 p.m.

For and men out there that may not want to speak up about being abused by a wife. Don,t ever feel like your alone God does understand. I tried for years to make it work but my ex-wife never understood what she was doing to our marriage.

Rebecca says 7.21.2011, 05:47 a.m.

Jesus hates divorce, but he hates abuse more. If an abusive spouse refuses council, refuses to change, I thank God that in America a person has the right to separate, or divorce according to the dictates of their heart. The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Peace. Who in their right mind would council people to live with abuse and claim to know the mind of God?

L.A. says 5.30.2011, 00:07 a.m.

Divorce is ugly, period. I too thought there would be a sense of relief but now I am questioning if I truly did all I could. I was blamed for the demise of our marriage - no infidelity. I feel empty and broken. I went back after a short separation hoping for the beginning signs of change only to find empty promises. I do pray daily and read His word - it does help - but I too wonder how long will the heartbreak go on? Why can't I get past this? I feel stuck.

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