My Answer

When we were dating, my husband said he'd stop drinking if I married him, and he did for a while. But now he's drinking more than ever, and he just laughs at me when I remind him of his promise and try to get him to stop. I still love him, but is there anything I can do? — Mrs. S.D.

One reason I wanted to reprint your letter is because I hope it will be a warning to someone who may be facing the same decision about marriage that you once faced. Promises are easy to make—and unfortunately, they are often just as easy to break.

Let me first tell you what you should not do: Don't simply ignore your husband's problem or assume that it will somehow get better or go away by itself. From what you say elsewhere in your letter, it is clear your husband has become enslaved by alcohol—in other words, that he is an alcoholic. He needs to face his problem honestly, and he needs both your help and the help of others to do this. He cannot escape this trap on his own.

For his sake, therefore—as well as for your own—I urge you to do everything you can to get him the help he needs. Your pastor or doctor should be able to guide you to resources that are available in your community. The Bible says, "Carry each other's burdens" (Galatians 6:2).

In addition, I urge you to put Christ at the center of your life—and of your marriage. You need His wisdom, and you need His strength for the difficult days you may be facing. Jesus' words are for both you and your husband: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28).

 

1 Comments

Louis says 2.14.2011, 02:04 a.m.

Hello Mrs, S.D. I too am an alcoholic and it is the devils drink and desire to destroy everyone who consumes it .. I now face my own marriage falling apart because of it , I'm ashamed of it and I repented of it. I rededicated my life to Christ but my wife says its to late and she is moving out .. I hurt her so bad that she no longer loves me. She will walk out that door soon and it will all be my fault !!! I pray for you and your husband that he would take his marriage serious .. and that he would seek counseling through the church before its to late !!!! If you love your husband make an appointment for the both of you at church for marriage counseling this will be a blessing to the both of you only God can help him but he needs your help ...God bless you !!

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