My Answer

I knew being divorced and becoming a single mom would be hard, but what I didn't expect was the anger I feel and the desire to strike back. My ex-husband was unfaithful behind my back, then just abandoned us when I discovered what was going on. I am a Christian and I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I just can't help it. What should I do? — B.N.

What your ex-husband did wasn't just hurtful—it was also wrong, not only in your eyes but in God's eyes, as well. It was wrong for him to break his marriage vows and be unfaithful to you, and it was wrong for him to abandon you and your children.

Yes, you are understandably angry at him—but has it ever occurred to you that God is angry at him also? To put it another way, God hates what your ex-husband did even more than you do, for God is pure and holy, and sin is a offense to Him. Your anger may not be pure—but God's anger is, for He loves us and hates what sin does to us.

Some of the most sobering words in the Bible are those that warn of God's judgment on sin. It says, "Be sure of this: The wicked will not go unpunished" (Proverbs 11:21). This is why you can yield your anger to God, and leave your ex-husband's future in His hands. The Bible says, "Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written, 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord" (Romans 12:19).

Pray for your former husband that he will repent and come to Christ. And pray daily for God's strength and wisdom as you raise your children. Don't let anger poison you (or them), but ask Christ to fill you with His love.

 

2 Comments

Alma says 6.27.2012, 10:04 p.m.

After 25 years of mariage is so hard!! I really can´t believe it is happening to us. I am so scared, so angry, I have a very deep pain in my soul. But I have to trust God, I have to feel my life with His peace and his love. Please pray for me.

Christine says 1.24.2011, 1:02 p.m.

My husband also left me for another woman, a younger woman. I have days where I hate him and wish he would just go away. I attend Divorce Care, it is an awesome suppport group and it has helped me to forgive my ex and not become bitter. My ex is getting married in a few months ..... we have only been divorced since September. It is hard not to want revenge but God is so good and He will help you with the anger and bitterness. I will be praying for you. God bless you and your children.

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