BGEA: My husband had an affair. How can I ever trust him again?

Several months ago, my husband admitted he'd been having an affair with someone he met over the Internet. He says it's all over now, and he seems very sorry about it, but how can I ever trust him again? I'm devastated. — Mrs. R.D.

One reason I wanted to reprint your letter is because it vividly shows the terrible things that can happen when someone breaks their marriage vow. Perhaps it will be a warning to someone who is foolishly thinking of doing what your husband did.

You see, when he started down this path, your husband wasn't thinking about the heartache and pain he might cause you; he was only thinking of himself. But your pain is real—and now he shares it. The Bible warns, "For the lips of an adulteress drip honey. ... but in the end she is bitter as gall" (Proverbs 5:3-4).

Yes, trust is hard to rebuild—but with God's help your marriage can be healed. That's why I urge you and your husband to turn your lives over the Christ and make Him the center of your relationship. God loves you, and He not only wants to forgive the past, but He also wants to help you build for the future. If you have never done so, turn to Christ and ask Him to come into your lives.

Then take steps to strengthen your relationship. Don't constantly dredge up the past; that only reopens old wounds. Instead, learn to enjoy each other's company more than in the past, and ask God to help you reignite your love. This is a painful time, but with God's help your marriage can not only survive but become stronger.

5 Comments

DJ says 10.12.2012, 11:48 a.m.

If I had -had the opportunity to save my marriage I would have. My husband gave the girl an STD of which he also gave to me 20 years ago. He chose to stay with her instead of coming home to me and his boys. I pray alot and I will pray for you.

Internet@BGEA says 12.16.2010, 10:42 a.m.

Dear JG, We would like to pray and provide some encouragement . Please call 1-877-247-2426 to talk and pray with someone. There are people here who care. Or, you can send a private email to help@bgea.org. We will continue to keep you in prayer. The BGEA Internet team.

jg says 12.16.2010, 09:48 a.m.

My husband admitted he had an affair with a women for 7 yrs. He feels sorry he wants my forgiveness. How can I forgive him and forget and how can I build a trust in him?

Internet@ bgea says 11.4.2010, 3:24 p.m.

Dear Debbie, We are so sorry that you are going through such a difficult time in your life. Please call 1-877-247-2426 to talk and pray with someone. There are people here who care. Or, you can send a private email to help@bgea.org. We will continue to keep you in prayer. God Bless You. The BGEA Internet team.

Debbie says 11.3.2010, 9:38 p.m.

My husband is writing women on the Internet. Mostly overseas. He says he is sharing Christ with them. One time I saw that he had talked to one for 8 hours one day. When I found out about it he said I needed to stay out of his business. We have talked divorce. He will not stop this or change. I'm about to give up.