BGEA: I'm so confused and heartbroken...my wife announced our marriage was over because she'd found someone else. What can I do?

I'm so confused and heartbroken. I just got home a few weeks ago after a tour of duty in the Army overseas, and just before I returned, my wife announced our marriage was over because she'd found someone else. We'd had problems, but I didn't know things would get this bad. Please pray for me. — T.H.

I know this is a very painful time for you, and I'm sure many who read this will pause to pray for you—and to pray also for all those who are serving their country during this difficult time. The Bible tells us to pray for our world and its leaders, "that we may live peaceful and quiet lives" (1 Timothy 2:2).

Perhaps the most important thing I can tell you is this: God knows what you are going through, and He wants to help you. How will He help you? First, by letting you know that you are not alone, but He is with you. He loves you, and more than anything else, He wants you to discover this truth for yourself.

How do I know He loves you? Because Jesus Christ came all the way from heaven to forgive your sins and bring you back to God. The Bible puts it this way: "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us" (1 John 3:16). If you have never done so, repent of your sins and by faith ask Christ to come into your life—and He will. Commit your life to Him today.

Then God also wants to help you by giving you hope. No, you can't change the past—but God has a plan for your future. Don't assume the future is up to you, but seek God's will and make it your goal to follow Christ.

12 Comments

he's back? says 5.16.2013, 10:53 a.m.

I hope so. I will pray for you. God does change people. But...if a man is able to leave his family even for 2 days/months he doesn't deserve them. He better honor your forgiveness or God will judge him for the pain he will cause. Good luck my kate

believe says 5.16.2013, 10:49 a.m.

It's hard. She's happy. You're alone. But you are not. I feel your pain and so does God. My husband wanted me to stay and let him date his thing on the weekends. after 18 years and 2 boys. My pastor went with me to sign the divorce papers.

KATE says 3.22.2013, 09:18 a.m.

My life is back!!! After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. I contacted you and after I explained you my problem. In just 24hours, my husband came back.

Renee says 2.2.2013, 10:59 p.m.

Wow!!!I can't believe that so many people are going through the same thing I'm going through...I've been separated for 3 years and I found out my husband been in a relationship for two years...I'm lost for word and feeling very lonely...God help me

Dondi says 10.12.2012, 11:34 a.m.

Pray, cry, have faith, and read read read. You will get stronger every day. I have good days and bad days still and it has been a year. Letting go of HOPE was my hardest thing. I always thought God would turn the situation around.

Believer says 10.16.2011, 00:42 a.m.

Praying God will bring you peace in the midst of your storm. God is good! Things happen we will never understand. You just have to let go and let God take over. To heartbroken. I'm so sorry. I left my husband and broke up my beautiful family for " another man." It was the biggest mistake of my life. I believed myself to be a good, honorable christian. I will never understand what possessed me to do that. I do know the devil comes to kill, steal, and destroy. One can never let their guard down. I, thanks be to God, saw the light. However my husband was so devastated he couldn't forgive me. We remain separated but he has moved on. So, again, I'm truly sorry for all your pain. May the Holy Spirit console you and bring you peace.

Peggy says 8.10.2011, 11:34 a.m.

Even though (husband/wife) may have other plans in his or her heart, God upholds the covenant of marriage and will defend it against the treachery of unfaithfulness, divorce and remarriage. God is able to restore your marriage no matter how bad things may look right now. Always remember that God holds the future.

Louis says 1.31.2011, 03:29 a.m.

Hey T.H. I'M sorry for what you are going through . I too am going through the same thing, only I followed my wife and caught her cheating on me with her ex boyfriend .. I found out she had never stopped loving him, so she never gave me her heart when we got married. I also adopted her son when he was 6 and raised him as my own .. She continues to see this man and we both live in the same house. It is very hard but God has made me strong through all of this. I too am glad that God reaches out his hand to me. He has made me strong and he has a better plan for all our lives. We just need to be patient. Thank you Lord!!!

Christine says 1.24.2011, 1:08 p.m.

I have gone through the same thing. I have been attending Divorce Care and it is wonderful. I recommend this to anyone separated or divorced. God has given me the strenght to walk through trial I never thought I would go through. I will be praying for you all.

Rodger says 12.28.2010, 06:49 a.m.

Dear T.H, I am not in the army, but my situation relates to yours in many ways....I got married to this beautiful girl after two years of dating, we stayed together as marrieds for one night and she had to go back to her home (in another country) because she'd a kid there and he was missing her so much, we promised each other that we'd wait for each other and in time we'd be together again.... 6months down the road, we started having some hardships in our marriage, but nothing beyond solvable/reconcilable, after just a couple of weeks, she called the marriage over and wanted a divorce.... this has not left me the same, its now coming to 6months since she announced the end of the marriage and till now I just have a lot of questions... some guy wrote to me and told me that he was in a relationship with her that's why she ended our marriage and man.... I'm still devastated up to now, I've paused and prayed for you my brother....God Bless

Heartbroken says 11.30.2010, 04:52 a.m.

I am in a similar situation, my wife announced our marriage is over because she has met someone else. I am completely heartbroken and constantly question myself how this could have happened. I find comfort reading these articles and knowing God is with me, because otherwise there is no way I could go on.

Ester says 8.8.2010, 11:19 p.m.

I just want to say to you,God bless you. I know its hard when loose someone you love. Remember that God won't forsake you. He will let you cry for a little while, but then He will whisper in your heart don't cry anymore. I love you and I am here. This is my prayer everyday, Dear God you are ushering a new day fresh and new here I am to ask you if you will renew me too. Dear God I am well aware that I can't make it alone. so please. hold my hand and hold it tight for I can not walk alone.