Making a Marriage Work

February 1, 2001

by Ruth Bell Graham

Recently a married couple terminated a long and seemingly agreeable marriage. The reason given: incompatibility—an all-too-familiar legal umbrella under which an assortment of excuses can find legitimacy.

The dictionary definition of incompatibility includes "incapable of harmonious association, disagreeing..."

"Incapable of harmonious association"? The Bible says, "But with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26, KJV).

"Disagreeing"? At times we all need to be disagreed with. When someone gets into a position of political or social power or a position of fame or fortune, and when no one dares to disagree, look out! That person is a danger.

I knew someone who refused to let his wife disagree with him on anything. His personality, his ego and even his judgment suffered because of it. Every person needs to be disagreed with occasionally!

Someone once gave me a gem of wisdom: "Where two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary." We can disagree without being disagreeable.

Some time ago my husband was given a watch that had been made in Switzerland. When the watch stopped working, we couldn't get it repaired here so we had to return the watch to the company that had made it. No problem. The ones who had made the watch knew how to make it work again.

And marriage? God invented it. He is the One to whom we must go. His Book of Instructions has the answers to make our marriages work.