My Answer

My father has been rude and verbally abusive all his life, always keeping everyone under his thumb. Now he's in a nursing home and in poor health but he hasn't changed. Are my brothers and I supposed to just keep taking his abuse, or has the time come to walk away? As a Christian, I believe in honoring our parents, but I've had enough. — Mrs. J.H.

Your letter caused me great sadness—and not just because of the abuse your family has endured all these years. I was also saddened as I thought of your father, because he has obviously been unhappy and discontented all his life. How sad—and how different his life (and yours) would have been if he had faced his sin and found the peace God wants to give us.

Now he is facing eternity, unprepared for death and without hope—and that's one reason why you shouldn't abandon him. He thinks his greatest need is to have everyone meet his immediate desires—but in reality, his greatest need is to prepare for eternity by giving his life to Jesus Christ. Only Christ can forgive his past, and only Christ can change his attitude right now. Most of all, only Christ can give him hope for the future.

Pray for your father, that he will realize his spiritual poverty and open his heart and life to Jesus Christ. Pray also for your brothers and yourself, that you will show Christ's love to him—and also have the courage to confront him with the Gospel. Never forget, God loves your father, just as He loves you. The Bible says, "Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? declares the Sovereign Lord. Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live?" (Ezekiel 18:23).

 

3 Comments

Hey.. says 4.25.2013, 03:11 a.m.

You are not only one. My dad did called me the names when he was lost tempt with me no reason when he and my mom visited my house. So, I am not welcome him in my house anymore. I was tired of him hurting me.

JO says 6.26.2011, 12:51 a.m.

I have often struggled with the fifth commandment as my parents have always hated me. They are both Christians now (praise the LORD) but our relationship seems to have gotten worse. If I'm honest I'm not sure how I should feel about them. I know I should honor them but I do not respect for them, and visit them as little as possible (every meeting reminds me of their abuse). I know that God loves them but I really feel that I want them out of my life. I believe that the LORD will change my heart, to love them like He loves them, but for now, it's one day at a time. I find it helps to not even think about them.

same as my mother says 3.8.2011, 11:34 a.m.

My mother is the same way. unfortunate circumstances now have her and my dad living with me. My dad is very sick and I want to help take care of him, I just don't want her there anymore and want to kick her out. it's a hard situation for she doesn't take care of my dad and is verbally abusive to him, me and hubby. It causes many tense situations, and she calls herself a christian! She fusses at my dad because he is kind to me and I am patient with him, she has always been jealous of us, but its because she can show NO LOVE!

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